The Sickest People in the World

As the saying goes, disasters like N'awlins brings out the best in humanity... and the worst. I'm used to the usual suspects: the looters, the price gougers, the scam artists, etc. But Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the fine folks in the Majestic Oaks Homeowners Association (and those supporting them), my winners of the Worst Humans on the Planet of the Year Award. I am sickened to read these reprobates actually live in a state that survived 4 hurricanes last year in no small part to the aid rendered by our neighbors. They can point to covenants and deed restrictions all they want... blah blah blah. The bottom line is they're seeking to deny shelter to people who've had their f-ing houses blown away, presumably because they don't want their property values affected by the presence of undesireables.

They'd better hope there's no God, because He'll have a special place in hell waiting for them.

Blogging Spam-a-Lot

Oh, for the luvva Pete.

I just blogged this little mini-entry not 10 minutes ago and noticed I had a comment. Thinking L might caught me red-handed, I checked it out, only to read a comment cautioning me against "blog spam". The nerve! A ten-minute beating with a sock of marbles for you, Mr. Anonymous!

(Update: This one got spammed too! Both spams have been, as Strong Bad would say, Deleted!)

The Hurricane Post

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the New Orleans disaster. I had to cut myself off from the coverage because it just saddened, angered and frustrated the hell out of me. (I was nearly in tears when I saw the video of Harvey Jackson...) I don't even really have it in me to make a proper commentary, other than express my disgust at how quickly this human tragedy has degenerated into partisan blaming (don't even get me started on Mr. West's "remarks").

Not surprisingly, it's taken a foreign media source to actually try to start asking all the right questions, not just those politically convenient (People with both D's and R's behind their name's got some 'splaining to do.). I recommend the article by the BBC's Paul Reynolds. I hope he stays on top of the story.

Oh, and in case you don't know about it, there's a blog out there being written by a guy holed up in some hotel in New Orleans. With the Police Department now declaring that they're really going to get everyone out, I don't know how long this guy can keep it up, but he has a unique perspective on things.

And yes, I ponied up what I could to my charity of choice. I did so last Tuesday. I'll be making another (and another and another) as the paychecks come in.

I Wanna Princess Leia in the Metal Bikini

Ladies in skimpy Sci-Fi costumes? That sounds like everything I wanna be a part of!

(Oh, and I'm going to figure out a way to work "It was your unbelievably loose grasp on the world around you." into a conversation, preferrably some kind of insult.)

I Think He's Dead (No, I'm Not!)

Yeah... it's been a while. Actually, L called me out, hence the title. I'm going to gather up my ramblings and try to give a meaningful post. Stay tuned.

Squirrel Soup, Anyone?

Sit down and have a bowl while you listen to the tales of Saddy Dumpington

Anakin Skywalker, aka Smelly Boy

Star Wars Episode III: The Backstroke of the West is out on DVD. I personally think it's an improvement on the original. L should especially appreciate the quality translation.

Hey, The Cheat. Did We Catch Anything in the Death Hole Today?

I'm waiting for Cool Tapes Greatest Hits to be released on BitTorrent

A Birthday Ode to Dudette

By this time tomorrow night, I will be in upstate NY, throwing down with my Best Friend of the Female Persuasion, aka Dudette, for her birthday festivities. (I checked and there are no tropical systems on the map, but I'm not taking any chances and calling in my karmic chits.)

A small word about Dudette. Ok, lots of them.

Of the many and varied reasons I believe in God, one of the most profound to me is the blessings of the friends I have in my life. Dudette is one of them. I'm not so presumptuous to think He uprooted her & her hubby TheBigGuy from her comfy upstate NY setting and dumped her into (in her mind) the living hell of 90+ degrees summers of Florida for my sake, solely or even partially. But had it not happened, I could most certainly been the poorer for it. Dudette has been friend to me for nearly a decade in just about every way I can imagine, and especially in the ways it matters most. I could ramble on about how, but, to me, one way says it best. When she asks "How are you?", she means it. Not in that faux way we ask people passing by in the halls where a "Good." and nothing more is expected. She means, "How are you?" And if you know me, then you know how much I treasure things like that. So, God willing, tomorrow night, I'll be making a well-deserved toast.

Buuuut, not get all warm & fuzzy, lemme toss out some little bits of whimsy she & I have developed over the years. They may be meaningless to you, but this is her post.

Favorite Dudette Quotes or Lines

• "That's a very nice hat." ("You like it? Uh!")
• "Chicken. Good!"
• "In the pipe, 5 by 5."
• "He's kinda funny lookin'..."
• "It's my deal!"
• "I think..."
• "I'm just sayin'..."
• "Giddyup!"
• "Well, let's start the insanity!"
• "What is the crab leg protocol?"
• "Have you tried dividing image into quarters?"
• "I want this bear, Dave. I want him bad."
• "It's my couch! My couch! Don't they understand?!"
• "The devil lives in deep river."
• "And I should care because...?" (aka, "And this affects me how...?")
• "Then we just slam out some code..."
• "Right right right."
• "You're worse. Much Much Worse."
• "You know..."

(and last but certainly not least) "Geezamoli"

The "Progression" Chart (inspired by the Weschler Adult Intelligence Scale)

1. Incomprehensible
2. Incoherent
3. Meaningless
4. Pointless
5. Absurd (aka Ridiculous)
6. Ill-Advised
7. Dubious
8. Incorrect (aka Wrong)
9. Moot

Happy Birthday, Dudette!

I Bet He Was Playing Diablo

So some whacko dies after playing a video game for nearly 3 days straight. I gotta tell you, this has got to be one of the... Er, hold on... My conscience is calling.

What do you want? Can't you see I'm blogging?
That's not nice, making light of his death like that.
Well, I didn't mean to... Oh, c'mon, 50 straight hours?
He's dead. Have some sympathy.
He had a heart attack from playing a video game!
Oh, right. Like you've never gone on a game bender.
That was different! I had to finish Final Fantasy 7 before I gave my mom that old PC.
And Diablo?
I didn't quit my job for it!
And he died happy...
Happy? He was curling up on a makeshift cot in the corner of the room.
And you have a better idea?
Damn straight! When Nicole Kidman massages my temples while Monica Belluci peels me grapes, then we can talk about checking out.

Ok, you know what? I'm going to have to skip the commentary on this so I can wrestle with my Id or Ego or whoever the hell keeps singing the Kenya Song up there. Damn voices...

I Never Knew I Had It So Good...

With all this talk about identity theft, I figured I'd best check up and see where my identity had been running around whilst I doze. Naturally, the best way to find out anything is to google it (and thus the English language takes another step towards... well, I don't know where, but somewhere along the way, I learned to use Google as a verb. My elementary grammar teacher would be shocked. Shocked I tell ya!)

At any rate. So, I Googled my name. Well. It appears I'm quite the man about town. I never knew I had it so good. Did you know your favorite Time Lord is also:

- An esteemed professor at two major universities
- Quite the well paid athelete
- A reputable seller of fine foods and liquors
- A talented artist of paintings and sculptures

I'm quite pleased with myself, although no listings could be found for that trophy wife I'm in need of. (Monical Belluci still hasn't returned my call, I'm sure her cell phone just needs recharging.) At a minimum, these are going on my resume. You never know when the need for a career change will strike and figure my other me's have done all the heavy lifting...

A Simply Mahvelous Time, Part Deux

L hosted yet another smashing suaree, replete with tasty meatless lasagna (oh, the cheese!) and a bundt cake. She says she'll post the recipe on her blog. I'm thinking of making the ability to cook such a lactose-rich meal a requirement for the future Ms. The Doctor. My only complaint is that she left out the onions. One of the attendees doesn't like onions... (Wuss! Yeah, I'm calling you a wuss! Wha'cha gonna do about it? Huh? HUH? You best step back, son!)