"What the... hell?" Goes Shopping

Ok, this one might be a little... um, well, let's just say that it might be a little South Parkian and to avoid offending easily offendable sensibilities, I'm going to black text this one. If you wanna read it, just highlight the text below.

So, where were we?

So I was in the mall, doing a little shopping and having had a bite, I went where one might go to do what one does after having consumed food and drink. So I'm standing there, doing my thing, minding my own business, when a fella of nondescript description shows up and begins his own process.

With me? Remember, I did warn you.

After a moment, he starts... well, he starts thrusting his rear to and fro. Not in a major way, but enough to catch that corner of your peripheral vision designed to catch movement. So he's wiggling, gyrating or whatever you want to call it. And my first "What the... hell?" trickles through my mind as I wonder if he's not doing something that might be illegal in some states.

And then they start.

Poot. Poot. Poot. Poot.

Apparently his motion was to encourage... the release of methane into the atmosphere. Cue my second "What the... hell?". And apparently he'd done this before because he didn't as so much bat an eyelash at his activities. That or he's so "secure" with his fellow self-scratching flatulent male brethren that he's perfectly happy to let a few fly in whatever manner the situation calls for.

For fear of meeting him there, I am Never. Ever. eating at Taco Bell again.