Fixing What Isn't Broken

My apartment complex is run Camden, the same Camden whose name is plastered on the home park of the Baltimore Orioles (which I'll never go to now. Granted, it's not much of a boycott, but I gots me principles). My apartment complex is also run by Idiots. I don't mean just lacking intelligence, any jackass can pull that off. No, I mean a stream of breathtakingly bad service, each instance begging the question "And I'm paying you people rent because...?"

Their latest bit of stupidity has unnecessarily complicated my life. Not in some dire sense, but if you want to push one of my buttons, make my life just that much more of a hassle without a good reason. In this case, my nearby mail hut used to have these spiffy little lockers in which Mr. Postman could put my various and sundry parcels (I'm a frequenter of Amazon and deepdiscountdvd.com). Its beauty was in its simplicity. Put parcel in locker, leave key in my mailbox and voila!, I could get ready access to my goody whenever my day permitted.

You know where I'm going with this, right?

So you can imagine my displeasure when instead of a key, I get this poorly photocopied note that says a parcel of mine was delivered to the cadre of incompetence. That's it. Not who it's from or any kind of indication what it might be or the like. The lockers are, of course, nowhere to be seen. I had to sacrifice my lunch hour to scurry back there during their bankers hours to retrieve it. While there, I channel for Taz when he asked Bugs, "What for you bury me in the cold cold ground?" by inquiring whose decision (as opposed to "bright idea", I was trying to be nice) it was to remove the lockers and when, pray tell, they might return. Well, DingBat #1 tried to give me some party line about it being a mutual decision, which I wasn't buying. So I finally dig up PropertyManager Woman, who happily informs me that it was HER decision. You see, Camden has been undergoing "beautification" efforts in order to increase the property value (I *pray* in lieu of selling it to someone else) and well, those lockers look rather unseemly and since our poor public sector wasn't willing to pay for new ones, she decided to have them removed entirely.

So there you have it. Aesthetics trumps basic functionality. Fix the parking lot drainage so it's not a lagoon every time it storms? Nah. Fix the drying machines so they don't moan like damned souls? Eh... We'll get around to it. Upgrade the so-called exercise room so you don't feel like you're in some bad remake of Rocky 4 (you know, where he was in Siberia "training"?). Not a chance. But, hey, slap a fresh coat of paint (thus gumming up the keyholes) of the mail boxes in some vain effort to make the place look prettier, and she's Johnny-on-the-spot. (Speaking of such, when said paint was slapped on, we were kindly requested to refrain from getting our mail that Saturday because the painter would be working. Now, I may be wrong, and correct me if I am, but wouldn't there have been a more convenient day, a day when the mail isn't delivered? They must not have been able to find an atheist or Jewish painter...)

Well, I wasn't going to put up with this. Nosiree. I have a note on my door instructing UPS/FedEx and the like that under no circumstances are they to leave any parcel of mine with the front-office boobery for a reason. The Leasing Orifice once lost a $400 piece of electronics of mine and their only dealings with me regarding it was to remind me that they aren't liable for lost packages. (Long story short, I got my money by going to war with UPS and reminding them they were unable to prove that *I* signed for my package... oh, they know not to make that mistake with me again.) In fact, I specifically have a clause in my lease forbidding them to accept my packages. (Should I consider this a violation of lease terms?)

So I go to the post office to deal with the problem at the source. The Nice Postal Man there just had that knowing nod, handed me a form to fill out and said from now on, they'd hold my parcels for me to get, just like UPS & FedEx. Apparently I'm not the first person to lodge this complaint and said Nice Postal Man wasn't too pleased with this move either, for it completely screwed up their "delivery confirmation" system. They're about to inform all Camden residents that they will no longer be dealing with the Den of Dundery.

I may follow suit.