The Stupidest Dog in the World

When I was a kid, I had a dog. A stupid dog. We're lucky Pablov didn't have my dog because he would've tossed the whole "conditioned response" thing as a bad idea brought on by some milk gone sour. There was no cause & effect in my dog's world, just a bunch of random events. I'd catch him digging at the fence, scold him and he'd look at me like I had capriciously decided to harass him. I'd walk away he'd go "what the hell was that all about?", then go back to digging. Chase his tail? You betcha. Wave the end of his tail at him and he's "Oh crap! There's that thing again!" and around he goes until he falls over dizzy. Loveable, but dumb as a box of rocks.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but if I did... this, is my dog.