My Dating Version of Jeff Foxworthy

You've probably heard at some point comedian Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck", which goes something along the lines of, "If you ever [insert punchline here], you might be a redneck." I'm thinking of adding a regular feature to this space which runs along the lines of "Chances Are There Won't Be a Second". I'll skip the obvious ones like constantly looking at their watch, or mentioning something about having to wash their iguana. And of course, being a guy, I can only make "observations" from my cro-magnon perspective, though there's undoubtedly an enterprising female out there who's come up with her own.

Ahem.

-If every other thing you say on a first date is met with "What makes you say that?", chances are there won't be a second

-If on a first date, she insists on paying for her half of the meal, chances are there won't be a second.

-If you ever have the following exchange on a first date:
"Thanks for a nice time, I really enjoyed your stories."
"Well, there's more where that came from."
"Yeah, I'm sure there are."
chances are there won't be a second.

-If your date ever looks up and goes, "Oh, look, there's a dead bug in that lamp," chances are there won't be a second. (This is my personal fave...)

And in keeping with the season, I'll make my obligatory tie-in with the upcoming Star Wars movie.